Yourself behaviour Y2
Give Yourself Permission
The to-do list never ends. Decide what is good enough, stop without guilt and show colleagues that high standards and rest belong together.
Jump to Y2 resources ↓What this behaviour looks like
This is enough for today
A leader names where guilt keeps them working, decides when a task is good enough and stops. They protect time with family and friends, say no to unnecessary meetings and talk openly about rest, so colleagues feel able to stop too.
A practical example
Finishing the sports day programme
Polishing again“The programme is safe, clear and ready, but I will spend another evening reformatting it so it looks as good as the one from the school down the road.”
Permission to stop“The programme is safe, inclusive, staffed and clearly communicated, so it is good enough to send. I will note one idea for next year and keep Friday evening for my family, without guilt.”
The programme is safe, inclusive, staffed and clearly communicated.
Stop reformatting, send it and note one idea for next year.
Keep Friday evening for family, without guilt.
Write what enough looks like, what you give yourself permission to stop and the time you will protect for recovery this week.
Y2 · Resources for your setting
Put ‘Give Yourself Permission’ into practice
Develop your own practice or lead the learning with your team. Use the chapter and workbook to explore the behaviour, then choose the resources that fit your next step.
Apply · Your leadership practice
Put it to work
Use the Y2 Playbook to turn the behaviour into practical action on a real leadership challenge.
- Practical toolkit and coaching prompts
- A practice script to rehearse your approach
- A 90-day plan to guide your next steps
Members only · Explore membership →
Apply · Learning with your team
Lead a team session
Use the Y2 INSET PowerPoint to help colleagues explore the behaviour and plan how to put it into practice.
- Editable slides to adapt to your setting
- Speaker notes to support facilitation
- Discussion, rehearsal and planning
Members only · Explore membership →
Worked examples
See Y2 applied in eight leadership contexts
Choose your role to explore the challenge, the leader’s response and the intended result. Members can read the complete example and download an editable Word copy.
In a primary school
In a secondary school
Across schools
Selected worked example
In a primary school · Headteacher
Letting staff own family events
Jacob · Headteacher · 438-pupil city primary school
Worked example at a glance
Letting staff own family events
The challengeThe headteacher personally checks every detail of family events led by capable staff, crowding out strategic work and recovery and teaching event leaders that their ownership is provisional.
What the leader doesThe headteacher holds one assurance conversation, records the decisions, leaves delivery with the event leader, publicly supports their reasonable choices and keeps the evening before the event for recovery.
What success looks likeBy day 30 the event should run safely with decisions held by the named leader; by day 60 event leaders should seek less routine permission and show stronger judgement; by day 90 delegated family events should stay high quality without headteacher over-checking.
Louis · Assistant Headteacher and SENCO · two-school primary federation, 356 pupils
Worked example at a glance
Closing statutory SEND submissions
The challengeThe SENCO keeps tidying SEND files after statutory submissions are lawful and sent, so weekend recovery and strategic work on provision give way to administration with no immediate benefit for pupils.
What the leader doesThe SENCO treats the task as done once the submission is accepted and the live plan is clear, schedules any archive work under information-governance rules and protects Saturday morning.
What success looks likeBy day 30 statutory submissions should close on receipt with safe follow-through; by day 60 archive risks should have a proportionate, owned plan; by day 90 protected time should support stronger provision rather than hidden administration.
Keira · PE Lead and Year 5 teacher · 332-pupil primary school
Worked example at a glance
Knowing when the programme is finished
The challengeThe PE lead keeps reformatting the sports day programme after safety and participation plans are secure, losing evening recovery and Year 5 planning without improving pupils' experience.
What the leader doesThe PE lead signs the event checklist once the day is safe, inclusive, staffed and clearly communicated, sends the final version, uses the school certificate template and protects Friday evening.
What success looks likeBy day 30 the programme should be issued on time with essential standards secure; by day 60 the event review should separate pupil impact from presentation preference; by day 90 the same finish-line method should be used for another PE event.
Mariam · Headteacher · ages 11 to 16 secondary school, 1,260 pupils
Worked example at a glance
Choosing which evening events to attend
The challengeThe headteacher attends almost every evening event because absence feels like not valuing pupils and staff. Fatigue is reducing strategic attention and making the headteacher's presence routine rather than meaningful.
What the leader doesThe headteacher publishes a rota, attends where the role adds distinctive value, briefs the senior leaders who represent the school, explains the criteria and protects two evenings each week.
What success looks likeBy day 30 every event should have effective representation and two evenings should stay protected each week; by day 60 staff and governors should understand the criteria; by day 90 strategic capacity should improve without a weaker experience for families or pupils.
Orla · Deputy Headteacher for teaching and learning · ages 11 to 18 secondary school, 1,590 pupils
Worked example at a glance
Stepping back from faculty CPD design
The challengeThe deputy attends every faculty CPD design meeting despite clear briefs, which displaces strategic evaluation and leaves faculty leads waiting for the deputy's view before they decide.
What the leader doesThe deputy agrees a common brief and checkpoints, attends only decisions needing school-wide judgement and replies within the working day in three lines rather than long evening comments.
What success looks likeBy day 30 faculty leads should design within the brief without routine deputy attendance; by day 60 checkpoint evidence should show a coherent entitlement with valid variation; by day 90 leadership ownership and strategic evaluation should improve together.
Noah · Attendance and Family Support Lead · ages 11 to 18 secondary school, 1,410 pupils
Worked example at a glance
Finishing case notes with confidence
The challengeThe attendance lead keeps refining accurate case notes to guard against imagined scrutiny, losing time for direct family work and burying important actions in excessive narrative.
What the leader doesThe attendance lead uses a five-part note check, signs the entry once it is factual and proportionate, moves straight to the named next action and takes uncertainty to supervision.
What success looks likeBy day 30 priority notes should meet the standard promptly with fewer defensive additions; by day 60 next actions should be easier to find and family-support time should increase; by day 90 concise recording should stay safe through a complaint or audit sample.
Pavel · Head of Modern Foreign Languages · ages 11 to 16 secondary school, 870 pupils
Worked example at a glance
Keeping Sunday free from marking
The challengeThe head of department adds individual written comments at weekends after whole-class feedback is complete, losing Sunday recovery and planning time without improving what pupils do next.
What the leader doesThe head of department signs off the class feedback plan on Friday, leaves routine books at school and returns to the ordinary cycle on the first weekend after any exceptional period.
What success looks likeBy day 30 the ordinary cycle should restart on the first weekend after pressure and pupils should complete strong feedback responses; by day 60 department feedback should better match learning need; by day 90 the model should survive assessment pressure without weaker pupil progress.
Inez · Trust Director of People and Organisational Development · ten-school trust
Worked example at a glance
Signing off programme sessions
The challengeThe director keeps redesigning leadership-programme sessions after they meet the brief, so optional refinement displaces workforce planning, recovery and the timely release of materials.
What the leader doesThe director signs off a session once two pilot users can follow it and the evidence is checked, logs new ideas for later review, closes the file at 5.30 pm and protects the evening.
What success looks likeBy day 30 three sessions should be released on time against published criteria; by day 60 optional ideas should go to a fair review rather than immediate redesign; by day 90 quality should stay strong while strategic work and recovery are protected.
The complete Playbook is for members
Turn this example into action
Read the full toolkit, coaching and practice scripts, and 90-day plan. Members can view the PDF here and download an editable Word copy.
Further reading
Recommended book
Essentialism – Greg McKeown (2014)
This text strengthens your practice by showing how saying no protects time, focus and well-being, helping you prioritise what matters most.
References from the Everyone Succeeds book
- Berry, J. (2016) Making the Leap: Moving from Deputy to Head. Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing. Buy on Amazon ↗
- Brown, B. (2012) Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. New York: Gotham Books. Buy on Amazon ↗
- Loehr, J. and Schwartz, T. (2001) 'The making of a corporate athlete', Harvard Business Review, 79(1), pp. 120–128. View article ↗
- Loehr, J. and Schwartz, T. (2003) The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal. New York: Free Press. Buy on Amazon ↗
- Mohr, T. (2014) Playing Big: A Practical Guide for Brilliant Women Like You. London: Hutchinson. Buy on Amazon ↗
- Neff, K. (2011) Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. New York: William Morrow. Buy on Amazon ↗
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